A monologue for Dennis Reynolds from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM
DENNIS is sitting on a chair with a blank white background describing his evening.
DENNIS
They told me they were coming for dinner at about 8.
So I started getting ready after work, you know, cleaning, showering, *sexily with raised eyebrows* grooming, regular stuff.
I put the meat in the oven at about 7 and put the water on to boil for the noodles.
Then I thought I’d set the mood a bit. I turned on some smooth jazz and poured myself a drink. I put on a sharp outfit. What kind of a host would I be if didn’t look the part?
So now I’ve got a little buzz and I head back to put the noodles on, and the water…*nervous chuckle* heh ….still wasn’t boiling *nervous strange laughter* hahaha.
I lifted the pot and looked at the burner…red hot.
So whatever a little quick to the trigger there *increasingly nervous laughter* hahaha, so I brushed my teeth, flossed again and came back for the noodles.
*very calm but mischievous face* Now here’s where the story gets interesting.
*quiet talking, serious* The water still wasn’t boiling. I dipped my finger in the pot. Tepid.
*livid and almost spitting upset* I’m not boiling a swimming pool here it was a small pot of water!
*absolutely livid* Then I looked at the clock and it’s 7:45?! Its been warming up for 45 minutes are you serious?!
*almost screaming* My guests were arriving in 15 minutes and I guess the noodles weren’t going to be ready.
*back to normal* So I called them up and told them not to come.
I would rather sit here alone than be appear unprepared.
HOST (Off Screen)
Was there something wrong with the stove?
DENNIS
Something wrong with the stove?
FADE OUT